The Stages of Pornography Addiction

First of all, I will explain the difference between sex addiction and porn addiction as the 2 are very different.

Dr Patrick Carnes was the first person to coin the phrase “sex addict” in his 1983 book “Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction”. Then in the first landmark study of sex addicts and their families in the 1980s (summarised in Carne’s 1991 book “Don’t Call it Love: Recovery From Sexual Addiction” documenting his work with 1000 sex addicts) Dr Carnes found that those who were neglected, abused, molested or raped as children or who were otherwise exposed to violence and/ or sexually inappropriate behavior at a young age are those most at risk for developing sex addiction. Dr Carnes concluded that sex addicts use sex as a way to self medicate and to numb their psychological pain.

Sex is therefore their PRIMARY drug NOT pornography although pornography is often a huge factor in sex addiction with Dr Carnes reporting that 90% of the men and 77% of the women in his study saying pornography was significant to their addictions. The late Dr Victor Cline too – another expert in sex addiction who treated hundreds of men afflicted with sexual addictions/ sexual compulsions – found that in 94% of the cases he came across, pornography was a contributing factor or direct causal agent in the acquiring of what he called “sexual illnesses.

Pornography addiction on the other hand is a whole different addiction which is present with or without childhood trauma and can lead to escalating sexual behaviors and does as the addiction escalates but this does not make them sex addicts. Porn addiction is a separate addiction in its own right and not a sub set of sex addiction.

The two addictions are very different and need to be treated differently.

Pornography addicts are not hooked on sex. They are hooked on masturbating to virtual people – pixels and not humans in the flesh as those addicted to sex are. Often those addicted to porn end up finding it impossible to get aroused or even develop an erection with real live people and/ or are increasingly found to be virgins and can only become aroused with virtual people.

It can get complicated though to know where one addiction ends and the other begins as nothing in life is that absolute but in the main sex addicts usually have childhood trauma somewhere and sex is their primary addiction and porn addicts are less likely to have childhood trauma as compared to those addicted to sex and masturbating to pornography is their primary addiction.

THE STAGES OF PORN ADDICTION

STAGE 1 – EARLY EXPOSURE

Children are exposed to pornography at a young age and this is nearly always sooner or later accompanied by masturbation as the addiction gets a foot in the door. Pre-Internet, addicts usually found an adult’s “porn stash” (usually their Fathers and usually Playboys) between the ages of about 7 and 13 years but in our post Internet age, children are being exposed from many more places in our mainstream entertainment including music videos and video games – which is often “soft core porn” in nature. It is impossible to estimate at what ages children are being exposed in today’s high speed Internet age – and to what extent – as this is all still playing itself out as our Internet age settles into our culture…

STAGE 2 – ADDICTION

Masturbating to pornography becomes a regular part of life. Addiction has occurred. A person keeps coming back to porn and has to regularly masturbate to it. They’re hooked and can’t get through life without it. They will use it as a pain reliever for coping with life just as an alcoholic uses alcohol to cope with their life.

Dr Norman Doidge – in his book “The Brain Which Changes Itself” – where he discusses how our thoughts can change the structure and function of our brains due to a process called “neuroplasticity” says: “Pornographers promise healthy pleasure and relief from sexual tension but what they often deliver is addiction, tolerance and an eventual decrease in pleasure. Paradoxically, the male patients I worked with often craved pornography but didn’t like it. The usual view is that an addict goes back for more of their fix because they like the pleasure it gives and doesn’t like the pain of withdrawal. But addicts take drugs when there is no prospect of pleasure, when they know they have an insufficient dose to make them high and will crave more before they begin to withdraw. Wanting and liking are two different things.”

Dr Doidge explains that “addicts experience cravings because their ‘plastic brain’ (related to neuroplasticity) has become sensitized to the drug or the experience. Sensitization leads to increased wanting.” Or in other words: addicts need more and more of the drug to get the same effect. Porn addicts end up building up a tolerance to the content and soon need harder, more violent, graphic and twisted content to get the same effect just as an alcoholic needs stronger and more frequent alcohol to get the same effect as their addiction escalates.

STAGE 3 – ESCALATION

Due to the addict’s need for harder and harder pornography, their addiction deepens and escalates. What porn worked once at getting them fully aroused enough to genitally orgasm now doesn’t even touch the sides and they have to keep upping the ante to even more dangerous and risqué images and videos including scenes involving children and animals. The things addicts end up viewing are usually things they would once have found abhorrent. With the onset of the Internet age, an addict can see more psychologically damaging sexual images in one bender session that their ancestors would have saw in a couple of lifetimes.

It is during this stage too that addicts will also begin having webcam sex, calling sex hotlines and/ or engaging in other types of virtual sex.

STAGE 4 – DESENSITIZATION/ DEHUMUNIZATION

Addicts are now so used to viewing brutal, grotesque and twisted pornography that they become desensitized to it and end up needing even more brutal, grotesque and twisted pornography to keep being surprised enough to develop sufficient arousal to be able to keep masturbating to full genital orgasms. Within that process, they become dehumanized and less and less able to feel empathy – both for performers and/ or animals in porn scenes and those who they are intimately involved with in their personal lives. Part of them shuts off and they become cold and indifferent to the suffering of those they love and the suffering of those on the screens they are viewing. They become dehumanized in the process.

Dr Victor Cline explains that “A frequent side effect (of regularly masturbating to porn) is that it also dramatically reduces (the person’s) capacity to love. Their sexual side becomes – in a sense – dehumanized. Many of them develop an alien ego state (or dark side), whose core is anti-social lust devoid of most values.” In time, the ‘high’ obtained from masturbating to porn becomes more important than real-life relationships. It makes no difference if one is an eminent physician, attorney, minister, athlete, corporate executive, college president, unskilled labourer or an average 15 year old boy. All can be conditioned into deviancy. In my experience as a sexual therapist, any individual who regularly masturbates to pornography is at risk of becoming, in time, a sexual addict, as well as conditioning himself into having a sexual deviancy and/or disturbing a bonded relationship with a spouse or girlfriend.”

Dr Cline continues “The process of masturbatory conditioning is inexorable and does not spontaneously remiss. The course of this illness may be slow and is nearly always hidden from view. It is usually a secret part of the man’s life, and like a cancer, it keeps growing and spreading. It rarely ever reverses itself, and it is also very difficult to treat and heal. Denial on the part of the male addict and refusal to confront the problem are typical and predictable, and this almost always leads to marital or couple disharmony, sometimes divorce and sometimes the breaking up of other intimate relationships”

STAGE 5 – ACTING OUT SEXUALLY

In the end, even the most extreme, twisted, violent, grotesque and risqué porn will not be enough to do the trick and the addict will have to start acting out sexually. This may include encouraging an intimate partner to engage in more extreme sexual fantasy behavior; exhibitionism like posting explicit and out of character videos of themselves on Tube sites; inappropriate sexting; infidelity; obscene phone calls; advertising for sex online or offline; inappropriately touching family members of all ages depending upon what kind of porn they have been watching during benders; soliciting prostitutes (and often of the type that is not that person’s sexuality so a straight person may hire a gay or shemale prostitute for example and a gay addict may hire a prostitute of the opposite sex); stalking; sexual abuse of an animal; sexual violence including rape; exposing themselves and even pedophilia when that person is more often but not even a pedophile. Their acting out behavior will more often than not – be related to what porn they have been exposed to and what that porn has encouraged them to fantasize about.

A Trainee’s Guide to Fleshlight Adult Toys

On the surface of it, Fleshlight adult toys seem pretty simple – an extension of your hand that feels a little more like realistic sex, but not quite as big, bulky and hard to hide as a blow-up doll! However, there’s a wealth of new discoveries to be made inside those little tubes of specially formulated silicone… if you’ve recently purchased a Fleshlight adult toy or are thinking about it, here’s everything you’ll need to know about the Fleshlight.

Buying a Fleshlight Adult Toy

Many handheld pussy/anal sex simulators are called Fleshlights, although ‘Fleshlight’ is actually a particular brand. If you’re looking to buy one of these toys, have a browse through the men’s adult toy section generally, don’t just search by the name.

Look for toys made of Cyberskin or ‘realistic feel’ silicone – there is an amazing difference between these and standard old silicone!

You’ll also notice that some are made in a flashlight style, while others have a flat base to help you ‘mount’ the toy to a surface for hands-free operation (“Hey look, no hands!”). The mountable ones can cost a little more, but you can get the same effect from a handheld one by jamming it between your mattress and base, or between two couch cushions.

Prepping and Using Your Fleshlight Adult Toy

The proper prep can make a big different to how your Fleshlight adult toy feels. Here’s the usual MO:

Fill the sink full of warm-hot water
Remove the insert from the casing and sit it in the sink for 5 minutes
Repeat if you like, or for thicker inserts
DON’T use the microwave or boiling water
Pop some wipes nearby to help with the cleanup – you’ll want to get the lube off your hands to get a good grip on your adult toy
Slather the inside with water-based lube only; silicone-based lube will react with the adult toy and melt it.

Once you’re ready to go, try some different ideas like:

Using it as an extension of your hand as you’d normally masturbate
Jamming the Fleshlight between your mattress and the bed base for doggie-style simulation
Alternatively, push it down between your couch cushions to hold it in place.
Popping your adult toy into a shoe for unusual angles
Simply hold it on a countertop or the side of a couch

Cleaning Fleshlights

This takes a while – however, it is essential that this type of toy is cleaned properly, because the closed environment, warmth and wetness make an ideal bacterial breeding ground.

Run warm water through the Fleshlight after use, and use a cloth and your fingers to do the initial clean. After this, use some specially designed adult toy cleaner and sanitiser to leave your Fleshlight ready for it’s next adventure.

Fleshlight Stamina Training Units

These adult toys are apparently (!) designed to help guys last longer in bed. When I first heard this, I imagined a device that somehow sensed when ejaculation was going to occur and projected an imagine of Roseanne Barr naked onto the nearest wall… but sadly, this isn’t the case!

The base idea of the Fleshlight Stamina Training Unit is to simulate the feeling of a real lady’s love tunnel as closely as possible, so that you are eventually desensitised to the experience.

Does it work? Customers certainly say so! Some of the most enthusiastic adult toy reviews you’ll ever read have been written about the Fleshlight Stamina Training Unit. For example:

“I did not expect much but was surprised big time. The Stamina Training Unit does indeed feel good. Actually it did feel too good for me. I came just entering the thing. I was both shocked and amazed.”

“This thing is the most awesome masturbator in the world, I say its as good or better than a real pussy! By working slowly with it (training) it does help holding out longer… This thing is up there with the lightbulb as far as incredible inventions!”

The Top 10 Discreet Sex Toy Essentials For Your Summer Holiday

The summer has come around again so you are probably looking forward to a much earned rest on your summer holiday. Wherever it is you have planned to go to and for however long the duration of your stay, don’t forget to take your favourite adult toy with you. If your favourite dildos or vibrators are fairly sizable you may not think they are practical to take with you due to lack of room in your luggage. If you are going on a family holiday, you may also be concerned that the children may discover them and start asking awkward questions. Sinful Sensations have come up with a list of sex toy essentials, condoms and sexual lubricants for couples that are small enough to go unnoticed and quiet enough not to be heard. The top ten essentials are as follows:

1. Basix His and Hers G-Spot Tickler The slim-line G-Spot Tickler jelly dildo is curved so that it can find either his or her g-spot with expert ease. Its flat base makes it easy to hold onto during penetration.

2. RingO Super-Stretchy Gel Erection Cock Ring Designed to fit men of all sizes because of its stretchy gel consistency, this silicone penis ring is a simple way to produce fuller, firmer erections and help prevent premature ejaculation.

3. Lipvibe Cunningly disguised as a lipstick, this small vibrator can be carried around in your handbag so will not even take up any room in your suitcase! It may only be 3 inches long but its powerful motor still delivers reassuringly powerful vibrations.

4. Cupid’s Two Finger Tingler At only 1.75 inches long, you may not think this vibe delivers much in the way of power but you would be wrong! Place this quiet vibe between two fingers to stimulate during intercourse or during foreplay.

5. Mini Mates Jive The completely waterproof Mini Mates Jive is activated at the push of a button. Choose from any of its five different stimulating speeds. Remove the bullet from its silicone sleeve to use separately for twice the fun.

6. Anal Finger Stimulator Butt Plug For anal stimulation, this 2.5 inch long soft silicone butt plug with a finger hole is ideal for anal play and will definitely take up the minimum of room when you are packing.

7. Bijoux Good Vibrations Bullet The Good Vibrations Bullet generates buzz after buzz at the touch of a button and comes in a sweetie style bag – what could be more discreet?

8. BongO Vibrating Cock Ring with Pleasure Ball This stretchy cock ring provides both partners with stimulations from the vibrations, helps him to maintain a stronger and longer lasting erection and imparts her with clitoral stimulation.

9. ID Pleasure Lubricant 57ml Travel Tube Available in an ultra convenient travel tube, this latex compatible lube heightens sensations to the erogenous zones for both men and women. Men should benefit from a firmer, thicker and more long-lasting erection while women should experience more sensitised genitalia.

10. Skins Condoms Assorted 12 Pack Condoms are perhaps one of the most important things to remember to take with you on your holiday. This pack consists of four Natural, four Dots and Ribs and four Ultra Thin so you can swap and change as the mood takes you.

What Your Tweenager Must Know About Sex

When your child leaves home for regular school, his family ties are very strong, but his school teacher, school-mates, their parents and the highly-admired football hero or class leader offer information and points of view that also help to shape his outlook on life. He will hear more, do more, deal more, and watch more TV, than ever before.

Sometimes a Junior School child (7 to 9) seems to have forgotten all about sex. Smith is extra coy, John is not one bit interested in the bare bodies of the other sex, Susan objects to being seen without her clothes. It means that your child has begun to sense the customs of the world he lives in and is trying to adjust. Sexual questions are less frequent and your child may even refuse to hear you talk about sex.

Several things seem to contribute to the lessening of sex desires at this age. There is a change in the sex glands; growth hormones become more active and sex hormones quieten down (for a few, short years!) There is also the more varied and active life that your child leads. He is able to do and understand more things and has less need to find bodily pleasure in every experience.

This does not make the Junior School child an utter blank, sexually. Obviously, children vary. Some may shift their interest to and from sex at one age, some at another, some not at all. Some may delight in telling dirty jokes or using swear words.

It is up to you to try to encourage self-confidence and strengthen the areas that are blossoming, cheer accomplishments, answer any questions that come up promptly, patiently and truthfully, so that wrong information, that has to be later undone, is not picked up. And do expect to have these all-important questions come up over and over again. Answering them will be basic preparation for the time when sex begins to concern him or her more personally.

Nowadays, some schools keep animals which give a chance to the children to become familiar with mating, birth and suckling of the young. It is easier for children to learn these facts in an impersonal situation in school and they can discuss and clear up further questions at home.

Sometimes you may have to explain ‘bad words’ briefly, just to dispel the notion that there is something mysterious and special about them – after which you can make it plain, without punishment, that such talk is a form of bad manners, like nose-picking or urinating in public, and that it is offensive to most people.

Middle-schoolers (9 to 12) have to be formally prepared for the great and vital changes which bring their bodies to maturity. It is a time that tries the patience and understanding of even the best parents – the child answers back, is sloppy, noisy, and disobedient. On the other hand, the pre-teen’s blunt interest in facts makes him a good subject for certain aspects of sex education.

So, although your daughter may talk brashly and openly about sex (that is, if you have a good rapport), and your son may show an unholy appetite for lurid magazines and movies, they are merely extending a growing interest in all areas of life. Their own sexual development is not very mature and they are not yet troubled by the urges of the adolescent.

What are the kinds of questions you can expect to hear from your pre-teen? Most probably, the questions they have asked you before, except that the terms are grown-up. Sometimes they’ll sound as though they don’t know anything. Even so, they are ready and need more exact knowledge. Make the information as specific and matter-of-act as possible, using correct words and terms.

Don’t be afraid if, at this stage, your child shows an interest in “unwelcome” subjects like rape, adultery, out-of-wedlock babies, violence and tragedies. Here’s your opportunity to dispel unpleasant and perhaps frightening misinformation and give a balanced view so that your child doesn’t get the idea that these troubles are the rule rather than an exception. You can also bring in the role of communication and love in a meaningful relationship.

If sexual curiosity seems too intense and troubling, look behind possible causes like a new baby in the house, parental neglect or the absence or infidelity of a parent.

Now sometimes, even if you are ready and willing to talk frankly, your child may find it hard to think and talk about sex. Some children smother their curiosity, some feel that grown-ups are embarrassed and consult their friends.

Perhaps you should examine your own attitude. Was your past communication incomplete, unclear or dull? Admit it and start afresh on a more realistic footing. You may have to look for openings to give your child the information he needs to know or to bring out bottled feelings. A wedding, a pregnancy or a birth are good casual starting points. And when your child discovers that you can talk freely, he will become less fearful and more ready to air his thoughts.

Here are some guidelines to help you provide factual information for your child between 7 and 12, to prepare him or her easily and comfortably for the deeper issues of adolescence.

BABY TALK

“How did you make me?” “How did I get inside Mummy?”

Sixes and sevens may be content just to hear that Daddy starts the baby inside Mummy.

For an older child, who wants to know more, explains it thus: There is a thick fluid in Daddy’s body which contains many tiny cells and he puts this in Mummy’s body where it joins another cell and this starts the baby in a special place called the womb.

What does daddy’s cells look like?

They are shaped like tadpoles or apostrophes. Each has a round head and a long, tapering tail which sways back and forth to take it to Mummy’s womb. About 250 of these measure one centimeter.

What does mummy’s cell look like?

It is round and about the size of the head of a pin. It is 125 times bigger than daddy’s cell.

How do daddy and mummy’s cells get together?

The fluid containing daddy’s cells comes out through his penis and joins mummy’s egg cell inside her body. This is called mating or sexual intercourse. It is done when two people love each other and want to be close.

Your child will certainly not understand this the first time it is explained. He’s too innocent, too inexperienced. He might find it funny – peculiar and silly rather than sexy. However, he’ll probably see it as just one more amazing aspect of his great, big, wonderful world.

When he is on the threshold of his teens, you can explain that, during intercourse, the father’s penis increases in length, becomes stiff and stands up at an angle from the body. This is an ‘erection’. It allows the father to insert his penis into the mother’s vagina where the cells are released in the thick fluid or ‘semen’. This is also the time when you can substitute words like ‘sperm’ and ‘ovum’ for male and female dells, adding that only one sperm can fertilize an ovum.

How does cell become a baby?

Once daddy’s cell enters mummy’s cell, it is ‘fertilized’ and starts dividing into two and then four and then eight until it becomes billions. And then these billion cells become the fingers and toes, legs and arms, nerves and muscles of the complete body.

At two months, the bay is 1½ cm long and floats in the womb in a bag of water; at four months it weights a quarter kilo; at six months, the mother can feel the baby move; at nine months, the baby is ready to come out into the world. (Show your child a pregnant neighbor or relative).

Can you get a baby every time you mate?

No, unless one of daddy’s cells finds and penetrates mummy’s cell, a baby will not be started. You might add at a later stage that just one cell is formed in mummy’s body each month and it lives for only a few days.

Why can’t mummy’s egg go into daddy?

Because men’s and women’s bodies are made differently. Daddy’s body has no place in which a baby can grow. Mummy’s body has a womb (don’t say ‘tummy’) which is at the upper end of the vagina, where a baby can develop and grow.

Make your son feel that being a daddy and supporting a family is just as important as bearing a baby.

When do mummy and daddy mate?

You don’t have to feed him unnecessary details. Just say that mating is a part of loving and wanting to have babies.

Is ‘semen’ the same as urine?

Since there is only one opening in the penis, your small son may imagine that semen and urine are the same. The answer is: No, Semen is a special, thick fluid whose only purpose is to carry male sperm cells to the outside of the body. Urine, which is a body waste, uses the same passage-way through the penis, but comes from a storage sac called the ‘bladder’ and never appears at the same time as semen.

How is baby born?

When the time comes, the mother gets signal from her stomach muscles. They get ready to push the baby out into the world through a special opening in her body which gets larger to let the baby out. Usually the baby comes out head first. The mother goes to a hospital where the doctor will help her deliver the baby.

Childbirth is often painful – let your child know this – but reassure her that the body is built to manage the process successfully. Your child will be thrilled to visit a newborn baby.

How big is the baby when she is born?

About 2½ or 3½ kilos – sometimes more, sometimes less. (Show her a baby-size doll). You were 3 kilos when you were born. If a baby arrives much earlier than it should and is very small, she may need special care.

How does the baby breathe inside the mother?

Baby doesn’t breathe air through her lungs the way you do. She gets her air from the mother’s blood, which reaches her through a tube called the ‘umbilical cord’.

Why do I have a belly button?

This is where the umbilical cord attached you to Mummy’s body. After you were born it was cut and tied. The place where it was is your belly button. You must keep it clean.

Does it hurt when the cord is cut?

(A child connects cutting any part of the body with pain.) An umbilical cord is made of tissue and there is no feeling when it is cut. It’s like cutting a nail or hair.

WHEN I GROW UP, I WANNA BE LIKE MUMMY.

What’s in that packet?

They’re just some sanitary pads that take up moisture. Mothers and big girls wear them to protect their clothing from a discharge that appears now and then. This discharge contains some waste blood and other substances that are not needed in the body at that time. The pads are used like a bandage.

What’s matter with my Sister?

Your son may wonder why his sister doesn’t join him with gusto in his games on certain days. This is a good time to tell him that she is having a ‘period’, as she is growing up to be like Mummy. Then explain in slightly more detail keeping the nitty-gritty for when he is older.

What is menstruation?

The word means “monthly flow” and it describes one part of the process by which your body prepares itself every 28 days or so for having a baby.

Every month, about two weeks before ‘menstruation’, an egg cell is formed in one of the two ovaries, the oval-shaped organs located at either side of the womb.

When one of the egg cells leaves the ovary, it finds its way into one of the fallopian tubes, of which there are two. This is called ‘ovulation.’

If the woman has had ‘intercourse’ and the egg is ‘fertilized’ by a male sperm cell, it travels down the tubes and attaches itself to the wall of the womb. Here it begins the great and wonderful process of creating a baby.

In getting ready for this, the lining of the womb thickens into a velvety surface with an extra supply of rich blood which nourishes the fertilized egg. If ‘fertilization’ does not take place, the womb doesn’t need the lining and it is drained away. It is this flow of blood from the vagina that we call “menstruation”.

This happens every month although it may be irregular for some time. It usually starts between 11 and 14, but each girl develops, at her own pace. Eventually it usually takes place once every 28 days, and lasts for 4 to 6 days.

It is wise to prepare your daughter from the age of nine. Tell her: During the next few years, your breast will appear, your hips will widen, hair will sprout under your arms, and in your ‘pubis’ (explain where it is), you will grow rapidly in height and weight (more so than boys of your age, that is, between 9 and 12), your skin may break out in pimples. And you may have your first period.

Her first period should be natural and expected and something to be proud of, rather than a shocking surprise. Help mould a healthy acceptance by the ease with which you can explain it; let your own childhood bad memories now become your strengths.

Unfortunately, old wives’ tales and taboos have led many women to regard menstruation as unclean, probably because it was believed that the person was ill and that the discharge might contaminate food. This led to all kinds of unhealthy restrictions – no baths, no exercise, no fresh air, no cooking, even no sitting at the dining table, so that it is even called a “curse”. It is better to use the term “period” (although the jocular school-girl term, “chum” will do) and to stress that menstruation is not an illness but a basic and beautiful aspect of being a woman.

Put your daughter in the right mood by giving her a belt and a box of pads, and help her look forward to the day with anticipation. Help her select her first bra.

When the flow begins, teach your daughter how to wear the pad, how to use a deodorant, how to ensure cleanliness and bathe daily, how to continue her normal routine and what to do about the slight discomfort she might feel. An adequate supply of vitamins and minerals, especially an iron supplement, will keep her generally fit. Make the first day happy and memorable by planning a little private celebration.

Remember that doctors stress that quite often menstrual discomfort is psychosomatic, so a lot depends on a good relationship between you and your daughter and on your own attitude to menstruation.

I’m scared! Why does it have to happen?

Some girls are not too happy about what has happened to them and may not even relate their depression to menstruation. They become withdrawn, irritable, function poorly in school, sleep restlessly, overeat or lose their appetites.

Sometimes there is a cry for attention. Your attention. Make your daughter understand that it is assign of growing up, of womanhood, of being like Mummy. Tell her that if she did not menstruate, she could never have children.

Sarah feels odd because she is the first in her class to menstruate. Reassurance and time will erase this feeling.

Susan overflows into her uniform, much to her embarrassment. A sanitary panty and an extra pad to change into in school can help.

Jeannie is too shy to buy her own sanitary pads – so her mother keeps a plentiful supply in a handy place.

Quite often a father who cuddles and dandles a little girl on his knees stops doing so abruptly when she reaches puberty. Make her feel that being Daddy’s Big Girl is as important as being Daddy’s Baby Doll. Do grown-up things with her; teach her to waltz, buy her a pretty dress and high-heeled shoes.

Parents, both of you together, can see her through this stage with sympathy, understanding and patience.

Does it hurt?

Usually not. But if it does, an aspirin and a hot-water bottle will make you well.

Cramps are often a sign of tension and worry. If your daughter’s periods are unusually painful, check with your doctor.

Why does menstruation begin before I want to have a baby?

It’s Nature’s way of getting you ready, a sign of growing up and becoming a woman, proof that you are perfectly healthy and normal.

When will my periods end?

Again, this depends on the woman. Generally, it ends between the ages of 47 and 52. They may stop suddenly or they may lessen over some years before finally stopping. This is called menopause and marks the end of a woman’s child-bearing years. Menstruation also stops for the nine months when a woman is pregnant.

LITTLE BOYS BECOME BIG BOYS, TOO

When will I become a man?

An eleven-year-old boy should similarly be prepared for the changes that will occur in his body. He may grow taller, hair will spring out of his armpits and groin, a beard will begin to appear, the size of his genitals will increase, his voice will change and embarrass him by slipping into soprano, he might get acne because of the chemical changes that are taking place in his blood.

These are Nature’s signs that he is coming of age, that he is becoming a man.

It is better for a father to explain all these changes. If you’ve been friends all along, that’s fine. But it’s also a good time to start, before you find the gap between you too large to bridge. After all it’s hard to delve straight into ticklish issues like masturbation and night emissions, which will affect him later in his teenage years.

BEWARE OF THAT ONE

Continue warning and educating your child about strangers and other suspicious adults. There are wicked, nasty sick people who harm children although they are not into majority. Be cautious about any adult who seems to be highly interested in your child and wants to spend a lot of time, especially nights, alone with him or her. Without being over-scary, stress that he or she must…

tell you about any improper advances made by adults, any adults – be they family members, teachers or coaches or priests.
ignore requests to give directions when he or she is alone.
not accept gifts or job-offers from a stranger and inform you when such an offer is made.
not keep any secrets from you.
differentiate between good and bad ‘touching’. Sometimes, seemingly innocent play leads to intimate body contact.
work out ways, like running and screaming, if threatened or abducted.

We ‘humans’ have got the life a billion years ago. There have been five mass extinctions in earth’s history. We are living through the sixth. And now we too are running at a pace to end it all. This time it will be our fault.

The new discoveries and inventions have made our lifestyle full of convenience. But our bodies require work. Just like the sedentary water starts smelling, the sedentary lifestyle has given rise to many chronic diseases like the heart problems, diabetes and hypertension.

Today, the health researchers are suggesting that most of the chronic diseases that have appeared in man’s life are due to STRESS. From where it has come. It is the bi-product of our so-called modern lifestyle.

We are standing at the edge of cliff. Immediate actions are required to bring back the healthy days. We must incorporate exercise, balanced diet, sound sleep, and the most importantly happy and positive thoughts to our lifestyle to get rid of all health problems.

So You Think You Know All About Online Dating?

Today Online Dating is more popular than ever. But do you really know all the different variations out there? Here’s a fun A- Z guide that reflects modern trends in 2013. There are the many different forms of ‘Dating’ on the web. How many do you recognise?

A – App – Usually mobile-based on Android or i-phone. App stands for application and this form uses G.P.S technology to facilitate match-making between singles.

B – B.B.W – Stands for Big Beautiful Woman and refers to men who wish to date them and the women who amply fulfill the desired category.

C – Christian – Wide-ranging dating niche covering all Christian religions.

D – Dominatrix – Extreme adult theme-based dating which involves erotic encounters between singles that are interested in B.D.S.M. (Bondage etc.,) Popular with some politicians.

E stands for E-Dating, another term that generally defines online dating. Yet, it could also include social networks or apps rather than orthodox online dating.

F – Friends-with-Benefits – refers to people who wish to date friends of the opposite sex with the occasional erotic encounter. Remember the movie?

G -Gay – Self- explanatory term for dating with Transgender/ transsexual niche included.

H – Herpes – Yes, it does exist and is very common. Crikey. Refers to people who have recovered and wish to date a partner who has gone through a similar experience.

I – In-Person – refers to real life face-to-face encounters between single people after an agreement has been made to meet after or during online dating communication.Yes, like the good old way! ( n.b safety considerations are a major issue so be careful. )

J – Jewish – Dating between singles of the Jewish faith. Shalom.

K – Kinky – An adult-based theme for single people who may have a sexual fetish or have sexual tastes beyond the norm. Get out those boots.

L – Location-based – using G.P.S technology (Global Positioning System) this dating allows singles to base their dating encounters on the location of their prospective partners and ‘hook-up’.

M – Mature – refers to a dating niche for singles over forty and is similar to Senior Dating.

N – N.S.A – stands for No-Strings-Attached – and is similar to Friends with Benefits. This type of dating refers to casual sexual encounters that may or may not lead to a continuing arrangement between consenting couples but not necessarily lead to friendships or a long term relationship.

O – Online Dating that uses modern technology to facilitate meetings between people who may or may not be single. App based or website based.

P – Plenty of Fish – dating site referred to as p.o.f.

Q – Quiz – A dating idea based online that mixes Speed Dating with a pub quiz style format. Put your mobiles away please.

R – Religious – A dating niche that attempts to bring singles together of a shared faith.

S – Speed – Like Quiz Dating this is event based but mainly arranged online these days. The idea has been around long before online dating took off in a big way.

T – Tinder – an ios dating app that allows individuals within a 50 mile radius to meet up via Facebook networks.

U – Uniform – a very popular niche driven form of dating where professional people who wear uniforms for a living – like firemen or sexy traffic wardens – who then arrange to meet each other for a hot date.

V – Virtual – combines online dating with online gaming. Involves the use of Avatars for people to interact in a virtual venue such as a virtual café. Take the blue pill.

W – White Label Dating- Dating platform for many online dating sites. Its success depends on partnerships with mainly branded sites.

X – XXX Dating – Adult dating of a more extreme nature. Not for the fainthearted. Usually consists of pornographic imagery for online marketing.

Y – You Tube was originally an online dating idea did you know? Now, it broadcasts online dating videos and a mixture of general tips, adverts, advice from professional dating coaches and, of course, hilarious spoofs.

Z – Zoosk – refers to the online dating site.

Using the Tips From an Adult Sex Guide Could Help Improve Your Love Life

Many books have been written for adults only. These books not only contain jokes, list out sex tips and discus different problems but also focus on games adults play. You can check out the details online and then download the right information which you can read at leisure. Several “Men’s only”sites are also available, where you can sign up as a member. Men openly discuss the most delicate topics and share views and opinions online. They send out regular newsletters, so that you receive an update on the latest in fashion, gadgets, products and more.

Some men are naturally good lovers. They are able to keep their women happy by doing what comes naturally. The important thing is that you should learn to relax. You should concentrate less on trying not to prematurely ejaculate and more on getting your lover in the right mood. A woman likes to take her time enjoying the sensations and foreplay that allows her to reach her peaks. Learn how to kiss and fondle her in such a way that she gets turned on. You can get detailed information from any adult sex guide online. Do not be hasty in choosing the first one that you see. Seeking information is one thing but putting it into practice will make the difference.

An adult sex guide will have more explicit information on the secret hot sex buttons you need to press, how much pressure you can apply and how to control yourself, from exploding prematurely. In the privacy of your bedroom, you can try out different variations and techniques. You can completely transform your den to make it look alluring, by lighting a few incensed candles, or you can both soak in that Jacuzzi swirling with beautiful red rose petals and lavender scented oils. The whole ambiance should be seductive with light music playing in the background. Do not overdo any of this because that could scare your lover away.

Make use of the hot sex tips that are contained in an Adult sex guide. Remember, kinky sex may interest your partner. Discuss your likes and dislikes and mutually try to benefit by deriving maximum pleasures from your efforts.

Read This Before Downloading Any Adult Sex Guide

The online world is actually inundated with adult sex guides. Just try searching for them on your favorite search engine and you are going to see such a lot of them waiting for you. They are all priced differently according to what they are supposed to contain and they contain different things as well. But, the point is, do you really need an adult sex guide?

The question you have to ask yourself is why you are looking for such a book to help you. Definitely the answer is that you are looking at improving your sexual performance. You are looking at giving your woman greater pleasure in bed. And you are hoping that the tantalizing sex guide you are looking forward to download will help you with it.

But, the fact is, no sex guide can help you if you don’t help yourself. These are some points you have to consider beforehand.

1. Good sex doesn’t come without a good equation with your partner. Yes, there are books that will train you in the pure art of carnal sex, but if you are in a long term committed relationship, then such a book won’t help you. Probably you will need a book that will tell you how to construct a better relationship with your partner than just some meaningless sex.

2. If you indulge in a great deal of foreplay, you can arouse your woman immensely. This is something that can really help you in what lies ahead. Maybe you won’t need the adult sex guide to spice up your act after that.

3. Another thing you have to consider is that you will need to actually implement the things that are mentioned in the guide if you want it to be effective for you. You cannot just read the book and then not implement it. Then it would be a futile exercise. In all probability the book is going to tell you about how you can have some more daring sexual experiences to make things more exciting-you have to be able to use that.

These are some of the things that you have to consider before downloading any adult sex guide. Will you be able to do it? That’s the question you have to answer.